Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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