Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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