I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
