that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We don't watch enough power rangers
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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