yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
