I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
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and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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