ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
