the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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