so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
