what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
