so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
