I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
God, I missed his penis.
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