The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
