I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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