You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
