White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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