Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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