the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
this will be a night to untag.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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