Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
