It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just invented taco cereal.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
