she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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