I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize