I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the condom got lost in my hair
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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