u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He better not be in your backpack
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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