Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
