Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
