just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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