I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
