onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
a search helicopter?!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
