They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
