Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
