He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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