Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
