Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
