How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you would pick up someone in the library
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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