I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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