every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
