yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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