why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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