WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
