He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
