fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
