just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
