Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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