i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
