yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
