I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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