Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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