i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I love you. Go after that dick
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