I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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