His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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