Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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