Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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