How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
