i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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