she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
