The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
