God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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