when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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