I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
