we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
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he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
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Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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