So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's blow job season.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
