That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
