after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
