My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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