Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
