Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
