I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
