I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
