I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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