Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
