I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's just like the Real World with babies
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
