alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
