he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
